Dear Pam: Don’t go!

in Peter by

Dear Pam:

Imagine my excitement when I heard on Saturday that you were at a nearby party celebrating the Gasparilla Children’s Parade? We were at Robert and Nancy Watkins‘ home and the talk was that you would drop by.

I was so excited. Plus, I would have done anything to get away from having to listen to Will Weatherford talk about another one of his investment projects. Doesn’t that guy know that, now that he’s not running for Governor, he’s old hat?

But then you didn’t show. I waited there for hours. After the fireworks. After the bar was broken down. And, yet, still no sign of my favorite cabinet member.

Oh sure, I put on a facade about how exciting Jeff Atwater‘s presentations are. And I do like Adam Putnam‘s Fresh from Florida recipes. But you know, down deep, that you’re still my favorite.

That’s why I thought I would write you and ask that you not leave us.

Don’t leave Florida.

Don’t take a job with Donald Trump.

I know, I know, you really went out on a limb, backing Trump after Jeb Bush dropped out. You were MAGA before MAGA was cool.

After Trump won, the world should have been your oyster.

But it hasn’t turned out that way. You didn’t get Attorney General. And we hear that you turned down a Deputy AG spot because you didn’t want to work with Jeff Sessions (who would?)

We heard you wanted to be White House Counsel. But let’s be honest, Pam. That’s real work. And little television exposure. That gig would have been basically the exact opposite of your previous positions.

Of course, we’ve also heard the rumors about you becoming Drug Czar. While you might enjoy the royal-sounding title of that job, do you really spend the summer in El Paso?

And, by the way, remind me of the last time you saw whoever the current drug czar is on television?

Unless the Trump White House can invent some sort of position light on responsibilities and heavy on screen time, you’re better off in Florida.

No, it’s not Washington, D.C., but a high-profile spot at this point does not seem to be in the cards.

Why not hang out in Florida and wait for the second round of Trump appointments. The way things are headed, Trump will have to shake up his administration after the inevitable Democratic wave in 2018. Maybe a plum spot will open then?

Hey, you’re still Attorney General of Florida. You even get an automatic appointment on the should-be-interesting Constitutional Revision Commission.

And, let’s be really honest, you’re popular enough that if you wanted to make a late entrance into the Governor or U.S. Senate race, who could stop you?

In the meantime, Michelle and I hope to see you this weekend as the Gasparilla Parade. Bring your beads.

Always your friend,


Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including,,, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. SaintPetersBlog has for three years running been ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.