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Don’t worry about showering, you’ll need one after House of Cards kicks off Season 3 Friday

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House of Cards kicks off Season 3 on Netflix Friday (though many will probably stay up late to catch it in the wee hours of the morning and binge watch until dinner time – you know who you are.)

There’s a lot of sh*t likely to go down in this third round of political debauchery that is House of Cards. Kevin Spacey’s Machiavellian character, Frank Underwood, has assumed the White House after a series of OMG scandals including murder twice over, money scandals and more lies than you can count on an abacus.

So far, he’s offed super-sleuth reporter Zoe Barnes who had all the integrity of a box of raisins and Congressman Peter Russo whose on-again off-again drug addictions were constantly being manipulated by FU. Underwood rose from the ranks of a measly Majority Whip to Vice President by convincing the previous veep he should run for governor of his home state. But that wasn’t enough, so FU decided to start bamboozling the prez by implicating him in a money laundering scandal.

In all of his get the hell out of my way shenanigans, Underwood left a dirty trail of deception and breaking the law that a bunch of pissed off people could start piecing together.

There’s a former high-end (is that what you call them?) prostitute-turned lesbian born-again Christian (oxymoron much?) She knows a bit too much about Frank’s sordid past and now that she’s smashed in the skull of her keeper, Underwood’s Chief of Staff Doug Stamper, she may be a loose end.

Then there’s the guinea pig-stroking computer hacker who also knows a bit too much. If he can wiggle out from underneath the threat of major prison time, he could be inclined to blab. And of course there’s the character everyone loves to feel sorry for – Zoe Barnes’ surviving boyfriend who’s now in the slammer thanks to a hacking set-up put in place by, who else, Underwood’s right hand man, Stamper.

But, if you’re chomping at the bit to see what happens next and if the new POTUS can continue to literally get away with murder, I’ll leave you with a trail of awesome.

Here’s some of the best parodies and other House of Cards-inspired YouTube hits from the first two seasons.

1: The only thing better than watching FU and House of Cards references is combining them with a whole ‘nother slice of awesome, Game of Thrones. Check out this brilliant impression of Frank Underwood morphed into the plot line of GoT.

2: Kevin Spacey’s 2013 “Nerd Prom.” Watch as Spacey assumes character as Frank Underwood to wheel and deal with Washington’s elite over who gets to sit next to who – Politico wants a Kardashian, McCain gets Conan at his table and Steny Hoyer can’t get his f-ing Netflix to work.

3: How ‘bout a little Ricky Gervais pretending to be Kevin Spacey on the set of House of Cards?

4: Last, but certainly not least, there’s this epic Sesame Street take on the political drama in which Frank Underwolf sets off to blow down the little pig’s houses until he gets to the White House of Bricks.

Janelle Irwin has been a professional journalist covering local news and politics in the Tampa Bay area since 2003. She also hosts a weekly political talk show on WMNF Community radio. Janelle formerly served as the sole staff reporter for WMNF News and previously covered news for Patch.com and various local neighborhood newsletters. Her work has been featured in the New York Daily News, Free Speech Radio News and Florida Public Radio and she's been interviewed by radio stations across the nation for her coverage of the 2012 Republican National Convention. Janelle is a diehard news junkie who isn't afraid to take on big names in local politics including Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn, the dirty business of trash and recycling in St. Pete and the ongoing Pier debacle. Her work as a reporter and radio host has earned her two WMNF awards including News Volunteer of the Year and Public Affairs Volunteer of the Year. Janelle is also the devoted mother to three brilliant and beautiful daughters who are a constant source of inspiration and occasional blogging fodder. To contact, email janelle@floridapolitics.com.

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