I could care less about Hulk Hogan, his wife or their nickle-dick son. So I didn’t know who Edward Graziano was when I read of his arrest today for attempting to hire someone to murder his wife. And I still don’t care who he is, but what struck me is that he offerred a $13.06 gift card to Westshore Pizza as part of the deal to have his wife murdered.Now, I’ve eaten at Westshore Pizza. I frequently ordered their Chef’s Salad because they never skimped on the cold cuts. It’s a great salad, but I don’t think I would murder anyone for it. I keep trying to imagine the dialogue that led to a $13.06 gift card being tossed to seal the deal:
Hitman: “No, I can’t do it. I just can’t kill your wife for only twenty-one hundred dollars. That’s not enough.”
Graziano: “Okay, fine, what if I give you this gift card to Westshore Pizza for thirteen dollars AND six cents — more than enough for a chicken parm.”
Hitman: “Wow, what a deal, Mr. Graziano. First, I’ll get a slice and then whack your wife.”
