Now THAT’s disgusting…

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White sand. Crystal blue water. A refreshing ocean breeze.

These are the kinds of phrases you want people using when they describe your beach.

Here are a few phrases you don’t want people saying about your beach:

Fecal matter. Human excrement. Public urination.

There is a dust up of sorts going on (and in) the beautiful white sand beaches of Destin and it involves beachgoers doing the so-called royal squat where they shouldn’t be. It turns out that on one lovely stretch of real estate, a nearby condominium, the Emerald Grande, is driving a ferryboat across the channel to dump out dozens and dozens of tourists on a daily basis.

These tourists settle into beach chairs with their blue umbrellas and they bring a packed lunch, some snacks, sunscreen and plenty of beverages. But they don’t bring porta-potties and there aren’t any on this little slice of white beach heaven.

What goes in must come out.

And it appears to be coming out right there on the beach.

According to a letter recently sent to the Florida Department of Health, the Destin Pointe Owners Association (DPOA) is calling for both an immediate investigation into reports of visitors using the public dunes as their own private commodes and a cessation of same. The letter asks the DOH to “investigate the matter immediately and take the necessary action to cease the Sanitary Nuisance that is occurring regularly” on the beach.

Ick!

The association president not only wants the state to investigate the reports but to get the DOH to tell them to – and let’s face it, there’s really no other way to say this – STOP CRAPPING IN THE DUNES! IT’S DISGUSTING.

It appears this is part of a larger fight where a nearby resort/condo owner wants his peeps to have beach access – even though his main property has none. So he offers his residents and their guests the coveted white sand by bringing them over via ferries to Destin Pointe. And to be clear, he owns the “single family” parcel in Destin Pointe where he is bringing them. Since he is an owner, he is technically allowed to do this because the covenants of the HOA allow property owners to bring guests and visitors.

The allowance of course was probably meant to have your brother’s wife and kids visit for spring break. My guess is it most assuredly did not envision the 150-of-my-closest-pals kind of guests.

I guess that’s a legal problem for those involved. But the larger and more immediate problem is a lack of actual bathrooms for all of these day-trippers who must resort to squatting in the dunes.

Thus, the excrement and fecal matter left behind by these apparently well-fed visitors and their I-gotta-go-right-NOW kids.

HOA President John Blue added this astute observation in his release, ”(F)ecal matter and pristine beaches simply do not mix.”

Not sure he HAD to actually articulate the obvious. But he did, and for all practical purposes, we agree.

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including SaintPetersBlog.com, FloridaPolitics.com, ContextFlorida.com, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. SaintPetersBlog has for three years running been ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.