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Paul Tash’s real answers for Tampa Tribune readers

in Peter/Top Headlines by

An earlier draft of a Q&A on the Tampa Bay Times’ acquisition/homicide of the Tampa Tribune has been discovered. Thank you to the anonymous source who forwarded this.


I subscribe to both papers. What do I do?

— We’ll consolidate your subscriptions. But don’t even think of canceling the Tampa Bay Times — we know where you live.

Will my subscription cost go up?

— Not until we raise it.

I am a long-term Tribune subscriber. What do I need to do?

— Sit back and enjoy our self-congratulatory style.


I have been reading the Tribune. What does the Tampa Bay Times have for me?

— Maybe you’ve heard about this thing called the Pulitzer Prize.

I have a news tip, story idea or a press release. How do I reach you?

— Honestly, we don’t need your help. (See Pulitzer Prize.)

Will the Tribune writers work for the Times?

— If they’re lucky. We hire only the youngest reporters with the least experience, fewest family obligations, and lowest income expectations.

I’ve preferred the Tribune because I want conservative viewpoints on the editorial pages. Does the Times publish those?

— Only if they meet our high standards for sanctimony.

As a former Tampa Tribune subscriber, do I have access to the Tampa Bay Times’ online content?

— Of course. By the way, if you click on the word ‘Pulitzer’ 10 times, 73 cents goes toward our pension deficit.

I subscribed only to the Tribune’s e-paper. What access will I get?

— We will have an alternative website for people with low reading levels.

What about apps for my phone or tablet?

— Sure, we’re as hip as the next fella.

When you do publish TV and movie listings?

— Before, not after, the shows and movies are broadcast.

Will you still have my favorite comics and puzzles?

— Anything to keep the morons happy.

I read news online at What will happen to that site?

— See “low reading levels.”

I was getting e-newsletters from the Tampa Tribune. Will that continue?

— Sigh. Would you stop with the questions, please?

Will I still get breaking news alerts and emails from the Tribune?

— I can’t hear you.


I bought an ad to be published in the Tribune. Will it run in the Times? What about ads on

— Yes. Check the fine print: No returns.


What does this mean for tbt*, the Times’ free daily newspaper, or Centro, the Spanish language publication of the Tribune?

— Unfortunately for you, both will be continued.

Who owns the Times? Any connection to The New York Times?

— The Tampa Bay Times is owned by a nonprofit, and ordained by God.

Let us know what you think. Send an email to

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including,,, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. SaintPetersBlog has for three years running been ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.

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