Editor’s note: The following quotes from Matt Gaetz are entirely made up. In fact, the entire blog post is 100% baloney.
As members of Florida Capitol Press Corps rush to beat a non-existent deadline to write about the scrum for the Senate Presidency of the 2021-22 legislative sessions, Representative/Senator-in-waiting Matt Gaetz tells me he has enough pledges already locked up to be Senate President in 2023-24.
“It’s never too early to plan the future,” Gaetz said to me in between checking his Twitter account and counting $500 checks written to his 2016 Senate campaign. “Ten years is hardly enough time to get prepared.”
Gaetz still has three more years in the Florida House before he will succeed his father in Senate District 1 in November 2016. He’ll be up for re-election in 2020, but with the next round of reapportionment set for 2022, he will be on the ballot again that year — either for a two- or four-year seat. If he lucks into a seat that isn’t up again until 2026. That means even if Gaetz doesn’t lock up the Senate Presidency in 2023-24, he still could be Senate President for the 2025-26 sessions.
“I should definitely be able to wrap this thing up within twelve years,” said Gaetz.
Meanwhile, Ella Joyce Schorsch, the nine-month old daughter of Michelle Todd and Peter Schorsch announced today during her playdate that she has enough pledges locked up to claim the House Speakership in 2033-34.
