On Sunday, several of Florida’s leading newspapers offered profiles of some of the key legislative races “up for grabs” on August 14. For example, Mark Puente of the Tampa Bay Times wrote that the “Brandes-Frishe race heats up for Senate District 22.” The Palm Beach Post‘s George Bennett reported about how “Group are pour(ing) money into Bernard-Clemens battle in Senate District 27.
Let me save you the trouble and sum up these stories and the many others just like them.
Candidate X is locked in a (bitter, heated, intense) primary against Candidate Y for State Senate District (4,17, 22, 24, 27 or 39).
Candidate X represents the moderate wing of their party.
Candidate Y is supported by the more (liberal, conservative) elements of the party.
Candidate X is supported by the (establishment, Senate leadership, Tallahassee). Candidate Y is the grassroots candidate.
Both candidates are knocking on doors. Lots of doors.
Insert quote from Candidate X about how they’re the real grassroots candidate and how they’re knocking on lots of doors. Segue into quote from Candidate Y about how, actually, they’re the one knocking on a lot of doors.
Warn that the race has been “hijacked” by third-parties or special interests “pouring millions” of dollars into direct mail and television.
Drag out a professor who never worked on a modern campaign, i.e, Dr. Susan MacManus, for the obligatory wood about how the race will come down to turnout. Yeah, no sh*t.
Close strong with how this race — and this race alone — will decide the future of the Senate presidency, the next host of the Olympics, the future of the free world.