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The Impaler

Vampire files to run for Florida governor

in Statewide by

Look out, Florida voters! Did you think you’d seen enough bloodsucking politicians? Well, a new candidate for governor is coming to town, and he is a self-professed vampire. Meet Jonathon ‘The Impaler’ Sharkey. His 2006 bid for governor of Minnesota was the subject of a documentary. His political past includes involvement in a Republican organization in New Jersey, plus bids for Congress from Florida and Indiana, and – an essential item on any nutball’s political resume – a run for…

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