The Guv Who Stole Session — a poem about Rick Scott, with apologies to Dr. Seuss

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Earlier this week, I engaged in quite a Twitter war about how I think Gov. Rick Scott seems to have changed course since he was booed andpink-slipped. Adam Smith sensed this same shift, asking in one column “Can Scott’s policy shifts soften his public image?”

All of this got mereally thinking about Scott’s near-180, which, in turn,reminded me ofa certain Grinch who once tried to steal Christmas, butended up seeing his heart grow “three sizes” too big.

So with apologies to Dr. Seuss, Ioffer’The Guv Who Stole Session”

Twenty-two floorsup! At the top of the Capitol,
Rick Scottrode to the tiptop to avoid the vitriol.
“Pooh-pooh Floridians!” he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Government is coming!

“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
“Floridians will come toTally and cry BOO-HOO!”

“That’s a noise,” grinned the Guv,
“That I simply must hear!”
So he paused. And the Guv put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the glow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow…

But the sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Tally!
The Guv popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Floridian down in Tally, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any government at all!
He HADN’T stopped Government from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Guv, with hisdome in the sun’s glow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
It came without tax cuts! It came without tags!
“It came without pension reform, boxes or bags!”

And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Guv thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Gov’t” he thought, “can’t be run like a business or store.
“Maybe Gov’t…perhaps…means a little bit more!”

And what happened then…?
Well…in Tally they say
That the Guv’s small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his restored cuts through the bright morning light
And he brought back the drugl database! And the fundingfor the least!
And he…

…RICK SCOTTHIMSELF…!
The Guv was no longer a beast!

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including SaintPetersBlog.com, FloridaPolitics.com, ContextFlorida.com, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. SaintPetersBlog has for three years running been ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.