Are Jeff Greene or Rick Scott the type of dudes who'd do two chicks at the same time? Or why it's ludicrous for them to "give away" their salary!

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I’m not exactly sure what the difference is between Jeff Greene and Lawrence from the movie Office Space — except the $1.4 billion dollars in net worth.  Lawrence is very honest about what he would do if he had a million dollars to spend:

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?

Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.

Peter Gibbons: That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time?

Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; ’cause chicks dig dudes with money.

Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.

Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.

Of course, we all know what Jeff Greene did the moment he had a million, err, billion dollars.  According to Wall Street Journal reporter Gregory Zuckerman:

“Greene brought two Ukrainian strippers on board to make a cameo appearance and hired stewardesses from coastal towns to serve as his crew. Some doubled as massage therapists, which came in handy after a day of scuba diving, Jet Skiing or kayaking.”

Greene has brushed off tales of excessive partying on his yacht, which I believe is a mistake.  This is 2010!  If dude was able to buy his way into a menage-a-trois, he shouldn’t deny it.  He shouldn’t run around braggin’ about it, either.  But, if Lawrence from Office Space is a fill-in for the desires of most men, then Greene should embrace his inner porn star.

What he — and Rick Scott — need to stop doing is making the rest of us feel uncomfortable by promising to “donate” or “give away” the salary they would earn if they were in government office.

“Having personal wealth is not my agenda today,” Greene said in an interview last week. “I don’t need any more money.”

Jeff, brother, we understood that the moment we laid eyes on you.  You’re only competitive in this race because of your money, not because of your ideas or your personality.  And in nouveau riche Florida, where disgraced doctors become chiropractors, not enough people seem to have a problem with you or Rick Scott buying an election.

Just don’t rub our faces in it.

You can buy millions of dollars in television ads, but don’t make us feel shitty by refusing to take our check.  Same goes for Rick Scott, who has also pledged not to take a salary if he is elected Governor.

We get it already, you guys are filthy frekin’ rich.  The last time dudes this rich were interested in public office, Crassus was crucifying Spartacus.

For obvious reasons, it’s always the rich candidates who promise to give away their government salary if elected.  You never see some poor son-of-a-bitch who represents East Tampa  or Liberty City giving up their paycheck.  Maybe because they value the job more.

Maybe the poor son-of-a-bitch from East Tampa or Liberty City will work harder just a little harder than the billionaire with a 145′ yacht.

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including,,, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. SaintPetersBlog has for three years running been ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.