If you get caught with powder on your nose in the midst of a career-devastating cocaine scandal, you probably need a media consultant to help you put out the fires.
And if you’re the guy with smack on his face your next obvious move is to kick off your own media consulting company.
That’s exactly what embattled former Florida U.S. Rep. Trey Radel has done following his not-so-sexy cocaine adventures.
After getting busted buying his nose candy from a federal cop, the Republican member of Congress spent a month doing a rehab stint before returning to his job on Capitol Hill.
He did not resign immediately. It took the faithful and drug weary GOP to shoo him out of office.
But screw you guys. You can keep him out of Congress, but you can’t keep him from teaching people how to handle those crooked politicians.
If names are any indication, his new gig as a media relations consultant is sure to be a wild success. It’s called Trey Radel Media Group. By golly, he used his real name and everything.
On his website there’s even a tab for how to handle a “crisis.”
While coke charges would surely qualify, there seems to be a lack of bullet points for that particular emergency. Instead Radel’s crisis management looks at whether or not a situation can be salvaged.
Look no further than his expertise. Clearly he thought carrying right along after a month in rehab was going to be just fine. That might work just fine for the Democrats, but not the almighty GOP.
“In a perfect world, you have eliminated risk. You have prepared. You are ready.
Unfortunately, the world is not perfect. We can help,” the section reads.
And if you still can’t handle, don’t worry, there’s always that good ole white powder. Just don’t buy it from the feds.
The best part of this whole charade is the final step in Radel’s crisis management expertise – recovery.
It’s not rehab. Nope.
Instead that includes a digital cleanup that pushes skeletons from the top of Google way down to the bottom where it’s, as Radel’s website puts it, “into an abyss.”
When you Google Trey Radel, the top result is his resignation from Congress. The second is Wikipedia. That’s followed by another resignation story and then his records’ expungment. It’s not until about halfway down the page until you find news of his new firm.
Kudos sir. You’re clearly going to knock this one out of the park.