Quick, what strikes you as the most odd feature about Charlie Crist’s new web ad:
Sure, sure, the tagline of “People Above Politics” is sure to strike most Republicans as the most out-of-place feature in this ad. But what strikes me as odd is that CHARLIE CRIST HAS CHANGED THE SIDE OF HIS HE PARTS HIS HAIR.
As a long-time Crist observer (in fact, one could say I have an advanced degree in Cristology), I know that for most of his adult life, Crist has parted his hair from his right to his left, as much a reflection of his political beliefs as it is an accommodation to the natural contours of Crist’s Hamiltonian (George, not Alexander) features.
But this latest web ad, launched recently after Crist’s abandonment of the Republican Party, reflects a new Charlie Crist – a Charlie Crist comfortable with parting his thick Grecian mane on the left side of his sun-kissed head.
I had the opportunity to speak with my old friend Carl Troupe, barber to the Governor, at Crist’s announcement speech about the switch in Crist’s part lines. “I’m glad he’s switching parties,” Troupe responded, which immediately reminded me of the scene from the movie Mr. Mom when Michael Keaton thinks his co-workers are joshing about the Detroit Lions, when in actuality, they’re discussing the “Unemployment Lines. Food Stamp Lines.” Like Keaton, I gave up exasperated.
It was time for me to do my own research into Crist’s obvious change in part lines. I looked through my extensive collection of photos — Charlie and me NOT DOING ANY DRUGS DAMMIT, WHILE EVERYONE ELSE AROUND US DID at the Big Catch in 1991, Charlie and me (as a page) in the Senate in 1994, Charlie and me with Dan Quayle in 1998…you know, all the good times, and in each photo, Crist is pictured with his hair parted on the right side.
So why the change in part lines? I blame Charlie’s wife, Carole. You know how wives and girlfriends can be: “Oh, you’d look so good in this red turtleneck. ” It’s like that episode of Seinfeld when Susan buys George the red shirt and Jerry knows Susan is trying to dress George, only in this case, it’s probably Carole telling Charlie, “Oh, you’d look so good if you just parted your hair on the left side.”
Well, Carole, you’re killing Independent Charlie!!!
We may never know what prompted Charlie to change his part for this ad. Maybe he was feeling his left-wing roots. Maybe its a subtle message to Democrats that he is one of them. Who knows?
What we really need to figure out is who the hell painted this disaster and why did they try to give Crist an eye lift on canvas.