Justin Sayfie aggregates the Capitol Press Corp Skits

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The Capitol Press Corps is putting on its 57th (sometimes) Annual Skits to raise money for the Barbara Frye Journalism Scholarship tonight.  As a member (really!) of the Capitol Press Corp, I offered three scripts for skits, one of which (I’m told) will make it on to the stage.

Because I am just getting back from my honeymoon, I can’t make tonight’s event. So here is a script of how I would open tonight’s event.  Mind you, I’m no Aaron Sorkin, but here goes:

The skit is titled “Justin Sayfie does the Press Skits”:

Whoever opens up the show comes out on to stage.  Someone dressed up in a Sayfie Review shirt comes on stage at about the same time with a Blackberry and camera in hand.

Emcee: Good evening, welcome to the 2012 Press Skits.  My name is…

Sayfie character: Good evening, welcome to the 2012 Press Skits. My name is…

Emcee looking at Sayfie character: Excuse me, can I help you?

Sayfie character: No thanks, I am fine.

Emcee: Right, and I am trying to get the press skits started here.

Sayfie character: Sure, sure.  See, I am aggregating the press skits.  It’s where I take all of the material from Press Skits, then I say it at my own Press Skits and, voila, I have aggregated the press skits.

Emcee: Wait a second.  Let me get this straight…you’re gonna follow me around all night, take everything said on this stage and then just use it at your own Press Skits?

Sayfie character: Right, that’s called aggregation!

Emcee: Sounds like stealing to me.

Sayfie character: One man’s stealing is another man’s aggregation.

Emcee: But you don’t have any of your own material.  You’re going to use all of our material.  That’s stealing.

Sayfie character: Tomato, tomato.

Emcee: Get the hell out of here. Press Skits is for real reporters!

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including SaintPetersBlog.com, FloridaPolitics.com, ContextFlorida.com, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. SaintPetersBlog has for three years running been ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.