Let’s take a little break from midterm election chaos and have a quick chuckle, shall we?
Remember learning about sex in school. I remember being awkwardly subjected to learning about girl and boy bits and how they fit together three different times in varying degrees of specificity.
First in elementary school when the boys were shuffled to another room to learn about why their wet dreams are perfectly normal.
Then there was middle school when condoms came up. In high school you actually learned how to put one on and were then subsequently scared into oblivion about the sheer certainty of catching herpagonasyphilaids if you so much as put a penis and a vagina anywhere near each other.
Well folks, this buzzfeed video illustrates the absurdity of sex ed by replacing sex with driving.
In this hilarious parody that looks like it could have been yanked straight from the Onion, creepy driver’s ed/gym coach dude chomps on his gum while scaring high school students into not driving.
“When you drive with somebody, it’s like driving with everyone they’ve ever driven with,” the whistle wearing gym teacher exclaims.
Then there’s the equally creepy dad doling out advice looking more like, and this is even creepier, grandpa.
“I want you to know, buddy, be selective. You only need one car, really.”
“So you’ve only ever driven one car,” the curious son fires back.
“We’re talking about you now, not me,” chuckles old man dad.
The video, while considering the source is probably meant to just be funny, highlights just how weird sex ed is. Do we really need to teach this in school? Considering the easy access to things like, oh, I don’t know, internet porn, sex education in school really just becomes a farce.
“You get yourself into a wreck, you’re going to have a busted fender for the rest of your life. No one’s going to want to drive with you,” says the gym teacher while sitting legs spread on a desk. Was this a herpes reference?
My personal favorite mockery is this cute little quip by a red-headed, clearly church-going mom to her daughter who wants to drive before college because she’s afraid she won’t be a good driver if she doesn’t get in some early practice.
“You know God wants you to wait to drive. Jesus never drove so I don’t know why you need to.”
Watch the video and have a good laugh. Then go back to reading all about political candidates, the merits of medical marijuana and whether or not we should let the county raise our sales tax for transit. Trust me, those boring topics are much easier to digest after an awkward laugh or two.