How bad is this trailer? As much as I love Sienna Miller and her delicious chest, the first image from this movie should not have been her portrayl of The Baroness. That character isn’t even in the Top 10 of icons from the GI Joe franchise. Okay, so maybe that’s why they show Destro next, except that’s not Destro, it’s just some Guiness drinker sans the sinister mask. Imagine if Heath Ledger had decided to play The Joker by dressing up like Bozo the Clown?
It’s bascially all downhill from here: Marlon Wayans, fresh off of his latest shitty spoof film plays a character that wasn’t African-American in the comics (although there were plenty of black characters in the original comic). Then there’s the screenshot advertising the fact that this movie is from the Douchebag that produced The Mummy, as if that should be on anyone’s resume. You know I worked at Bennigan’s once, but you don’t see me posting that on Monster.com. There’s also some horrible voice-over that is probably stolen from the Navy Seals movie sequel.–
The brewing disaster here is what they are obviously going to-do with the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow subplot. Lemme just explain Snake Eyes: He is the most important character in the franchise. He was the figure that graced the cover for Marvel’s anniversary series (as shown on the right). He was a ninja with an uzi! He is why children bought throwing stars. He is why people started playing paintball. He is why I dressed like a ninja during the fourth grade. When we all see his character turned into a knock-off of Michael Dudikoff, that will be the moment when every true GI Joe fan walks out of the theatre.