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The trailer for the upcoming movie ‘GI Joe: Rise of Cobra’ is a disgrace to entire franchise

in Apolitical/Peter by

How bad is this trailer? As much as I love Sienna Miller and her delicious chest, the first image from this movie should not have been her portrayl of The Baroness. That character isn’t even in the Top 10 of icons from the GI Joe franchise. Okay, so maybe that’s why they show Destro next, except that’s not Destro, it’s just some Guiness drinker sans the sinister mask. Imagine if Heath Ledger had decided to play The Joker by dressing up like Bozo the Clown?

It’s bascially all downhill from here: Marlon Wayans, fresh off of his latest shitty spoof film plays a character that wasn’t African-American in the comics (although there were plenty of black characters in the original comic). Then there’s the screenshot advertising the fact that this movie is from the Douchebag that produced The Mummy, as if that should be on anyone’s resume. You know I worked at Bennigan’s once, but you don’t see me posting that on Monster.com. There’s also some horrible voice-over that is probably stolen from the Navy Seals movie sequel.
The brewing disaster here is what they are obviously going to-do with the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow subplot. Lemme just explain Snake Eyes: He is the most important character in the franchise. He was the figure that graced the cover for Marvel’s anniversary series (as shown on the right). He was a ninja with an uzi! He is why children bought throwing stars. He is why people started playing paintball. He is why I dressed like a ninja during the fourth grade. When we all see his character turned into a knock-off of Michael Dudikoff, that will be the moment when every true GI Joe fan walks out of the theatre.

I am going out of my mind because of how horrible this trailer is, especially compared to the rest of the anticipated movies coming out this year, like the new Terminator, The Watchmen, the second Transformers and the Wolverine backstory.
Please someone rescue the GI Joe movie before it’s too late.

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including SaintPetersBlog.com, FloridaPolitics.com, ContextFlorida.com, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. SaintPetersBlog has for three years running been ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.

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