Ever since I acquired the rights to the perfect domain for my efforts — FloridaPolitics.com —
If space aliens were to land in our fair State and seek to ascertain the burning issues of import to our society by examining the recent acts of our Legislature, they would come to understand that we, as Floridians, care very deeply about young men wearing droopy pants which expose the tops of their boxers. They would also determine that we take grave offense to those who would display metallic replicas of bull reproductive organs on the backs of their pickup trucks, and that the best way to ensure a future of economic prosperity for all is to make it as easy as possible for developers to pave over every last patch of the bovine realm, such that metallic replicas may be all that will one day be left. So what will these visitors from afar see from our leaders in 2010? While committees are already meeting, the formal legislative session doesn’t begin until early next year. To give us a preview of the hot issues and likely outcomes are two members of our Pinellas County delegation. The chair of the delegation, Rep. Ed Hooper, represents the Clearwater area of the County and the Republican Party, while Rep. Richard Kriseman, a Democrat, hails from west St. Petersburg. So what will the 2010 session entail? Will the Seminole Indian Tribe be authorized to expand its gambling empire in exchange for much needed cash? Will the Legislature authorize oil drilling off Clearwater Beach? Will the House convict its former Speaker for doing what only has come natural to every Speaker in modern times? With so many foster children in need, will gay couples be allowed to adopt? And perhaps most importantly, with revenues continuing to shrink, what will be cut next? Leave your ray guns at home but bring your sharpened Tiger claws to this sure-to-inform program, and remember, our speakers, though not little or green, come in peace.