Why the Navy SEALS are men's sexual heroes

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1. They drop in during the middle of the night, and they’ve come and gone before you know it.

2. They are good in tight areas.

3. Face down? Face up? Standing? Crouching? Underwater? It doesn’t matter. They’re getting the job done.

4. They didn’t bring a change of clothes or a toothbrush, and they sure as hell aren’t staying over. If they’re still around at sunrise, something went wrong and their buddies are coming to get them. No man left behind.

5. Don’t expect them to call (or even knock) first. They just show up. It’s kinda their thing.

6. After it’s done, they leave quietly, purposely NOT talking about “how they feel about what just happened.” Besides, they’re already thinking about their NEXT mission.

7. They aren’t shopping for a duvet cover, and they only help pick out polish only if it’s for their weapon. Ironically, long fingernails can be among their weapons. Go figure.

8. They know that more important than the size of their weapon is how they use it. But they still like to carry big-ass weapons.

9. They want to get the job right the first time, but they’re not afraid of an occasional “double tap.”

10. They hold their breath so they can go down without surfacing for a REALLY long time…but they’d prefer not to.

11. They are good with their hands.

12. They’ve been in many engagements, and they always end quickly . . . so don’t bother.

13. They might show up at the rendezvous point with lots of wingmen, but only one guy’s getting the job done. No bickering.

14. There’s lots of high-fives when its over, but bragging is for douchebags.

15. Even on the darkest of nights they can find the tiniest of targets. No one’s asking for directions.

16. Shooting blanks is for weekend warriors, and training keeps their weapons from accidentally going off early. It does NOT “happen to all guys.”

17. As far as they are concerned, they were never there.

18. Even their privates are born leaders.

19. They can’t be called afterward…in part, because the phone lines are cut.

20. Names are unnecessary to the mission.

21. They’re quick to point out, “Look, there ain’t anyone else here banging down your door.”

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including SaintPetersBlog.com, FloridaPolitics.com, ContextFlorida.com, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. SaintPetersBlog has for three years running been ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.